{"product_id":"hes-not-scary-hes-just-unavailable-shirt","title":"He's Not Scary, He's Just Unavailable Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eHe's Not Scary, He's Just Unavailable is printed on the front of the tee, with “same thing” underneath — the line people read before they say anything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA funny halloween shirt for women with the joke in bold type that still reads across a dark room. Oversized heavyweight fit, available in black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it for a Halloween party, a girls night, a single-in-October bar crawl, or the photo he will see.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFunny Halloween gift for her, a gift for a best friend fresh out of a situationship, or a sister who saw it coming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the front, one design per tee — no clutter, nothing that turns into a smudge after three washes. It works as the whole costume, or under a jacket when the effort runs out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnisex sizing, so size up if you want the drop-shoulder look and stay true to size for a regular fit. More slogans in Funny Halloween Shirts for Women and Graphic Tees for Women — small drops, new designs added every season.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA soft, breathable tee that speaks with quiet humor. Made from lightweight Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, this crew-neck shirt sits neatly at the shoulders and drapes comfortably for everyday wear. The front bears a small, candid line in warm, muted red: \"I CAN'T FLIRT (I'M AFRAID OF WOMEN)\", while the back carries a bolder follow-up: \"MY MAMA DON'T LIKE YOU.\" Those lines land like a wink—self-aware, awkwardly charming, and honest. Built with side seams and shoulder tape for lasting shape, a ribbed knit collar that keeps its form, and a tear-away label for comfort, this tee balances thoughtful construction with deadpan personality. Sustainably produced materials and REACH compliance add a considerate finish to a shirt that makes social humor wearable.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton; lightweight 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²) for breathability\u003cbr\u003e- Side seams and shoulder tape for improved fit retention and structure\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar with seam and retail crew neckline for a neat, classic look\u003cbr\u003e- Prints produced using crisp DTF or vibrant DTG methods depending on provider; tear-away label to reduce irritation\u003cbr\u003e- REACH certified; ethically manufactured with provenance from Honduras and Bella+Canvas quality standards\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53972723204396,"sku":"68659329635247536025","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":53972723237164,"sku":"17101844030948992401","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53972723269932,"sku":"25211957212674269738","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53972723302700,"sku":"19342405606029899918","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53972723335468,"sku":"22705101529358231377","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53972723368236,"sku":"31802938990940739075","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53972723401004,"sku":"23931469066329210468","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53972723433772,"sku":"99907940850717654599","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53972723466540,"sku":"17994178251107810743","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53972723499308,"sku":"16595511781534904734","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53972723532076,"sku":"31653258375105753523","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53972723564844,"sku":"48694579443780322900","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":53972723597612,"sku":"28236432824104804066","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":53972723630380,"sku":"12889074165573226184","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":53972723663148,"sku":"27652025812376503512","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":53972723695916,"sku":"35432727597413730708","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Black","offer_id":53972723728684,"sku":"33507442248680492541","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":53972723761452,"sku":"29550685299150101210","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0976\/6600\/7340\/files\/10970252855316010204_2048.jpg?v=1787649968","url":"https:\/\/teelay.com\/products\/hes-not-scary-hes-just-unavailable-shirt","provider":"Teelay","version":"1.0","type":"link"}